Reasons I Was Made to Be A Mother, In No Particular Order

Reason # 2: I will have no problem being a curmudgeon about terrible choices masquerading as fantastic opportunities.

I’m sharing this video for a couple reasons.  One, because it is, indeed, Fryee-day, Fryee-day, and everyone I know is, in fact, looking forward to the weekend.   Two, it’s one of the most marvelous, horrible, embarrassing, hilarious videos I’ve ever seen.  (Thank you, Dan, for posting it on Conor’s Facebook wall.)

I don’t think there’s a rhyme in the entire song, and while I know of some very accomplished musicians who don’t rely on rhyme (see Ben Folds’ “Cigarette,” or a bunch of Radiohead songs), it seems like you should have to achieve some level of artfulness with intonation and melody before you’re allowed to strip away the basics. 

Just for emphasis, this is the bridge:

Yesterday was Thursday, today it is Friday. 

We, we, we so excited, we so excited.

We gonna have a ball today. 

Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

There’s a lot of commentary I could add, but I don’t think it’s necessary.  I’ll meet you over by whatever long German word it is that means “the enormously satisfying feeling you get from experiencing something that is phenomenally bad.” 

I get a kind of there-but-for-the-grace-of-God feeling when I see stuff like this.  When I was a kid, I loved to sing. I participated in all kinds of plays and show choirs and performance groups, and when directors said things like, “This group is the most talented cast we have ever had!” I ate it up.  If someone had approached me with a recording contract and told me that I could have the next teen hit, I’d have sold one of my sisters to get that deal. 

But then I’d have taken the sheet music for “Friday” home, where my mom would have plunked it out on the piano and pronounced it drivel, and my dad would have asked about the credentials of the music company, going on for 45 minutes about the implications of a contract, especially at the age of 13.  I’d have been crushed, of course, because I had been forced to miss out on such a golden opportunity, such a once-in-a-lifetime chance!  Millions of dollars!  The cover of People!

But Rebecca Black didn’t live in my house.  I’m not saying that she has rotten parents; they’re probably very nice people, who got really excited over their daughter’s opportunity.  I’m just saying that Rebecca Black is all over Facebook, YouTube and Twitter trying to decide whether to sit in the front seat or the back seat, and whoever should have seen it coming didn’t. 

I'll take away three points from all this: First, I am eternally grateful that I was born to parents who could tell the difference between shit and shinola.  Second, I'm praying to the Lord above to let me be such a parent.  And third, someone did allow Rebecca Black to record “Friday,” so the damage is done and I might as well enjoy it.  We we we so excited.